Saturday, June 19, 2010

F*** you cetacean!

I heard the other day, that the US government dispatched a team of scientists from Los Alamos to the Gulf of Mexico. This can only mean one thing; preparations are afoot to NUKE A GODDAMN OIL SPILL.

A sick twisted part of me actually kinda hopes this happens. Let's face it, big explosions in water are the shit.
This is the Bikini Atoll during 'Operation Crossroads' (more generally known as 'fucking up a random part of the Pacific to show the Russians that SHIT IS SERIOUZ.)

The popular piece of swim/slutwear known as 'the bikini' takes its name from the atoll, it was named as such due to the overpowering nausea invoked when witnessing blubberqueens all but completely uncontained; symptoms remarkably similar to those of victims of high-dosage gamma-ray exposure.

Of course, the real reason that the US wants to nuke the spill is because America is fighting a war on obesity, and therefore is all about murdering fat animals like Whales. Even the Oregon state highway division hates the minstrels of the sea:

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