Sunday, July 4, 2010

MILFs of America!

This red-headed bombshell is showing off her sensuously thick calves and voluptuous curves with sexy jean shorts. She finishes it (and us, ungh I'm spent) off with a touch of sporty: check out those running sneakers!

Marilyn Monroe was right; blondes do have more fun! This stylish vixen flaunts the latest maxi dress trend. Her soft feminine curves are hidden under layers of flowy ruffles, but we can use our imagination to uncover that delectable secret. She gives us a teasing preview of her thick and sexy ankles.

Here we have a real life fantasy: 2 gorgeous MILFs in white sneakers. Underneath those trendy plus size t-shirts and jean shorts lay cascading fountains of goddess-like softness and a veritable labyrinth of rolls and stretch marks. The beauty in blue brings new meaning to the expression "dumps like a truck" and "ass like a donkey."

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Photobooth and the Apple Generation

Remember the glory days.

Those radiantly perfect days of yesteryear when we didn't have to pretend that homosexuals, Gypsies and the Irish were real people. When nobody cared about gas mileage and therefore did not muck up the streets with their disgusting electric and kei-cars. When 3D glasses meant the cool paper and cellophane doodads found in cereal boxes. Perhaps most importantly, in the glory days parties were not interrupted so that some jumpoff could show off his new iPhone app, there was no Facebook for anyone outside the Ivy League or Seven Sister schools, and we were not exposed to this PHOTOBOOTH shit constantly:

Shouldn't you be having your first period and learning how to shave your legs instead of playing with Apple products, little girl?

(Comments on this photo:
Kori Laurence: jesus thats a good one
Marcus Lee: DUH CAUSE WE FREAKING SIDEWAYS we always get good sideways pics... we have to bring my laptop to atl....and red cause duh their coming to our hotel)

No amount of anime comic book cartoon Ninja Turtles effects is going to hide the fact that you've got two chins.

Photobooth also doubles as a means of two-way video calling, which encourages the U.S. armed forces to talk to small Japanese women.

This young Democrat gentleman apparently suffers from the same condition as the actor who played Omri in "The Indian in the Cupboard" - also known as "please shove your erect penis into my eternally gaping mouth"


Whatever happened to the MySpace Angle?

F*** you cetacean!

I heard the other day, that the US government dispatched a team of scientists from Los Alamos to the Gulf of Mexico. This can only mean one thing; preparations are afoot to NUKE A GODDAMN OIL SPILL.

A sick twisted part of me actually kinda hopes this happens. Let's face it, big explosions in water are the shit.
This is the Bikini Atoll during 'Operation Crossroads' (more generally known as 'fucking up a random part of the Pacific to show the Russians that SHIT IS SERIOUZ.)

The popular piece of swim/slutwear known as 'the bikini' takes its name from the atoll, it was named as such due to the overpowering nausea invoked when witnessing blubberqueens all but completely uncontained; symptoms remarkably similar to those of victims of high-dosage gamma-ray exposure.

Of course, the real reason that the US wants to nuke the spill is because America is fighting a war on obesity, and therefore is all about murdering fat animals like Whales. Even the Oregon state highway division hates the minstrels of the sea:

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Angelfish - Angelfish

Password: ultimovicio

Angelfish was Shirley Manson's band before Garbage. Every time I hear a Garbage song I die a little, because Angelfish is so much cooler.

(Disclaimer: I used "gay" because homos are damned to burn in hell forever)


Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Mood: cheerful...ish.

Music: Angelfish - Sleep With Me

SOOOOOOOO yeah. Today was Tuesday and it didn't really get interesting until James passed out the sticky hands...THEN it was great. At lunch we stole mayonnaise and dumped it on the ground and I was bribed to lick it off the ground for ten bucks but refused. I didn't realize she only meant one little lick; I thought I was supposed to clean the ground of all mayonnaise. HEE HEE! So yeah. Then...I stayed after for the elevator lab for extra credit. I gain two pounds going up and I lose eight pounds going down. WHEEE! Then after that we migrated outside, where I experienced mass humiliation of the worst kind. But it's all good - the reason I was humiliated was fun, and his voice soars to ungodly heights when he laughs. It's cute. ANYWAY. Do I still have the pink thing stuck in my hair?